Whiny Wednesday

Why do I always have to be "the Frog" in Lennon's game of "Princess and the Frog"? Some days Mommy would like to be the princess too.

A Poem for Today

Dew

As neatly as peas

in their green canoe,

as discreetly as beads

strung in a row,

sit drops of dew

along a blade of grass.

But unattached and

subject to their weight,

they slip if they accumulate.

Down the green tongue

out of the morning sun

into the general damp,

they're gone.

~Kay Ryan, U.S. Poet Laureate

Family Fun

This past weekend Josh and I temporarily added a new addition to our family: Mr. Iggy Pug Manley. We thought it would be great practice to dog-sit for my best friend Clair since we are hoping to officially add to our family this summer. Yep, that's right folks--Josh and I have finally grown up. This time around we are planning for our newest baby, all 20lbs of slobbery, furry goodness. We'll be sure to send out a birth announcement when we hear that the insemination took.

Anywho....While Clair spent a fun-filled weekend with her female family members we welcomed Iggy into our home. It certainly didn't take much time for Iggy to make himself comfortable. He proceeded to to snuggle up on the couch while chewing his favorite ball. Oh-but little did he know that this was no vacation for him with Beastie lurking just around the corner.

Lennon was ecstatic to have Iggy for a two-night sleepover. Anytime there is a living creature smaller than her to boss around she's on cloud nine. With Lennon around Iggy was in constant motion and on high alert. He became her personal puppy puppet. Lennon has mastered many sentences since Iggy came to stay, including: "NO IGGY STOP!", "Iggy come here!", "Iggy go potty!" and "Good boy, Iggy." Poor Baby Reese was chucked out of her place of honor in the doll stroller and Iggy proudly took her place--if only I was able to capture it all on camera! Of course these two toddlers quickly became partners in crime. Whenever there was dead silence we were sure to find Lennon and Iggy getting into massive amounts of mischief. My poor flowers will never bloom again.

Having Iggy over has certainly opened my eyes to juggling two small, semi-helpless creatures. I don't know how mothers with several children or multiples do it. Keeping track of the two of them was a challenge. Josh found this out the hard way while trying to take Iggy, Lennon, Uncle Cody and Uncle Randy out for a walk. Then again he was over reaching with thinking he could wrangle 4 youngins' by himself.

But over all it was a pleasant experience (the 3 of us haven't gone on that many walks in one day in I don't know how long) and I think we are very ready to expand our brood come this summer. That gives us a few months to train Lennon on how to scoop up poop. I mean, if she's going to be so averse to potty training, keeping herself in diapers, the least she can do is clean up after an other's crap. They say you shouldn't push your kids too hard but....

Mommy Guilt Monday

Lately I have been dreaming of week long vacations without my darling daughter. It seems absolutely bonkers to think that a year ago I could barely tear myself away from her. My how times have changed.

Motherhood is the greatest adventure....but I have a suspicious feeling that sun bathing in the South of France may be better.

Tell All Thursday

There is nothing wrong with having 1 beer during nap time, right? I mean, I did chase it with a bottle of Belvedere vodka*.

*Things I've learned from Chelsea Lately: What vodka to drink and how to make a joke.

Whiny Wednesday

How could someone this cute be so evil?

Well let's just start by stating the obvious: This is a less than flattering photo of me. I'm looking all sorts of lumpy, schlumpadinka Mommy. Makeover anyone??!! Sigh--Okay the hard part's over.

Above is a picture of one of those moments in your life when everything seems peachy keen. Mother and daughter are posing oh-so-adorably right before Easter Sunday service. Little does the on-looker know that underneath that mother's predetermined smile there is a strong will that urges her to eat her young (if only 2 times a week) and that underneath her daughter's perfect "CHEESE" is a demon waiting to be unleashed. Case in point: Today's Events.

Today started like any other day. I rose out of bed at the butt-crack-of-dawn--or what other's like to call 7am--slowly waking up by curling up on the couch and checking my e-mail. I gave Josh a kiss goodbye and wished him a good day at work like the perfect little woman. Lennon actually sleeps in (okay, I should have known from this odd turn of events that today would be unlike any other), rises with smiles and kisses ready to start her day. Sounds great so far, right? Well it was....until the demon residing in my 2 year old decided to burst out of her like something out of the Exorcist.

Since I am trying to block out today from my memory what happened next is a bit fuzzy. It may have had something to do with her new DVD "The Princess and the Frog" and her Barbies. All I can remember is that a new type of temper/tantrum/eruption of emotion exploded from my child, which resulted in me having to perform the Vulcan death grip around her entire body until she could stop scratching every inch of my exposed skin (not to mention some of hers) and calm down. What happened to my angel baby?

After this ridiculous episode it was time to load up and head on over to Grandma Sweet's in Corvallis so Mommy could attend at scholarship workshop. Sounds so responsible, doesn't it? WRONG!!! The first 20 minutes or so of the car ride were like any other: a constant cacophony of commotion in the backseat, that is generally entertaining. But somewhere outside of Monmouth, near mile post 68, the demon decided now was the perfect time to rear its ugly head. Any and all sharp objects begin being chucked directly at me! Books, Barbies, fairy wands, hair ties and hair clips, shoes and socks. AHHHH!!! WHILE I AM DRIVING! Then the demon begins to scream bloody murder, as if she is being scrubbed down from head to toe with a pumice stone. Why, you may ask? Just cause. So what do I do? I try to contain the situation as best I can while continuing to drive.

Mother's all over the world understand the move that I had then chosen to administer. It involves a steady speed, one hand on the wheel as your other arm is contorted in such a way as to reach into the back of your car to discipline and/or appease your child in any way possible. Well, unfortunately I did not administer this move under standard regulations. I forgot the steady speed part. I was so distracted (I know, HORRIBLE excuse) by the surprising demon antics of my once sweet and darling girl that I continued to stretch my foot to the accelerator and press down--hard. I was just trying to keep up a steady momentum when a hill slowly starts to rise and fall, catapulting my car up to 70-ish (ALLEGEDLY!). By the time I noticed my speed and had composed my toddler the po-lice are hot on my tail.

Now, I am not emotionally capable of being pulled over by an officer of the law. I'll be honest: I have authority issues. I very much dislike disappointing my superiors. This includes cops. Let's forget for a moment that my once demon-like child is now cooing from the backseat, blatantly flirting with Officer What's-His-Name (I don't know who taught her that). I am sitting in the front seat just trying to hold it all together. I am trying to act like a composed, responsible mother as I answer his questions and provide the necessary paper work. Meanwhile, Little Miss Sunshine is rattling off all sorts of questions and doing everything possible to get on the officer's good side. Of course, her efforts are wasted. I get cited and fined $190.

I want to make this clear: I did not cry....at least not in front of the officer. I waited till he drove off, then I immediately had an emotional breakdown like every other normal woman on the planet. I did not make excuses for myself. So why was I deliriously drenched in my own ocular fluid? Because I inadvertently endangered my child and was deathly afraid of Josh's reaction. God forbid I EVER put my child at risk again or disappoint Josh. Catholic Guilt anyone?

Long story short--if I can even say that--not a good day. Not the worst day, but not a good day. I love my daughter with every fiber of my being, but damn it that girl needs to work on her flirting. Next time she better seal the deal and get Mommy out of a ticket!

Today's Meditation

After my tirade on house cleaning and the like, I thought this would be appropriate.

"I really love to clean. It's not anything compulsive, it's just that you can see a difference when you're through. Not like raising kids or something that you're not sure how it's going to turn out for a couple of decades."

~Jill Churchill, Farewell to Yarns

Mommy Guilt Monday

I let my daughter cry it out today. We were both sooo desperate for nap time (maybe I was a bit more so). Apparently a weekend at Mimi's house trips up your first day back at home and back on your regular schedule. I always feel guilty about "the cry it out method" and I suppose every one's idea of what this entails is different. But no matter what way you look at it, it always hurts to hear your baby cry--no matter how old they get. Yet you have to give in to the pain before you reach the sublime. Ahhhh peace, quiet and at least 45 minutes of uninterrupted time to get stuff done---or make a blog entry.

Tell All Thursday

I lied to Josh for the very first time today. To be fair--it was a little, teeny, tiny white lie (he agrees with this statement). Of course it wasn't worth lying about and I feel awful about it. Lesson learned.

Poem for Today

Spring is like a perhaps hand

by e.e. cummings

Spring is like a perhaps hand

(which comes carefully

out of Nowhere) arranging

a window, into which people look (while

people stare

arranging and changing placing

carefully there a strange

thing and a known thing here) and

changing everything carefully

spring is like a perhaps

Hand in a window

(carefully to

and fro moving New and

Old things, while

people stare carefully

moving a perhaps

fraction of flower here placing

an inch of air there) and

without breaking anything.

Poem for Today

Spring

by Kay Ryan

Winter, like a set opinion

is routed. What gets it out?

The imposition of some external season,

or some internal doubt?

I see the yellow maculations spread

across bleak hills of what I said

I'd always think; a stippling of white

upon the grey; a pink the shade

of what I said I'd never say.

Toddler Tuesday

"What, Mom?" or "The Calm Before the Storm"

Thank heaven for little girls. For little girls get bigger every day....I sometimes cannot believe that I---ME!---have a 2 year old daughter. This never ceases to amaze me. There are days where I wonder if I could ever love something or someone else as much as I love her. Then, honestly, there are other days where I wonder if there will ever come a day when I will get to enjoy myself with wild abandon like I did in the days when I didn't wear the label of "Mommy". On those days--and they are few and far between---I look at this picture and see that my little girl, my baby, will grow up all too soon and that I should cherish these moments of young motherhood.

There will come a day when she will not want to raid my closet and abhors absolutely everything I wear. There will come a day when she will drive off into the sunset on a date with the boy she swears she'll marry (no matter how much her father protests that she will NEVER date). There will come a day when she beams with pride at the fact that she conquered her very own obstacles and follows her own dreams. Finally, there will come a day when she will truly understand what it means to walk in her mother's shoes, and OH how I will relish that day! The day her very own little Beastie rips through her closet, tornadoes across the house, all objects within reach being flung behind her with wild abandon, as she uses her Easter basket grass as confetti and screams at the top of her lungs: "NO MAMA! NO MAMA! BACK UP!"

Mommy Guilt Monday

Ugh. I feel so awful about not biting this bullet sooner---Potty Training. Just one of the many Mommy Guilt moments I have had since Lennon turned 1, and yes, she is now 2.

I spent too much time being wishy-washy on the decision to potty train, When is it the right time to potty train?---When will she be ready to potty train?---If I start too early what will happen?---What happens if I start too late?, I read every book I got could get my hands on, I listened to all the advice and then of course I went against my gut feelings: I should have started aggressively (in the nicest sense of the word) potty training Lennon as soon as she turned 1. C'est la vie. Lesson learned. I WILL NEVER GO AGAINST MY MOMMY GUT FEELINGS AGAIN!