I suppose I am self inflicting this torture all other parents and child rearing experts call "Potty Training". I mean it's not like Lennon can't still wear diapers, they're somewhat fashionable and they'd keep the boys away at 16, right? I am just so ready to stop spending money on the damn things and I wonder if I completely lost my mind. Yes, I have succumbed to some pressure from the peanut gallery. Everyone has an opinion of course, and if Lennon ever wants to attend preschool the diapers need to be dumped. But there has to be an easier way to go about potty training without feeling like a complete crazy, hermit-like woman covered in pee, poo, stickers and M&Ms.
You hear about girls being easy to potty train (apparently I was one of these girls), but honestly I don't think that's the case. At least it isn't the case with our delightfully head strong, independent daughter. No amount of pretty panties and treats will coerce her into thinking that her diapers aren't the bees knees. She would prefer to "go" in them and sit in it; she'd prefer to layer her panties over her diapers, and since she is a younger toddler the concept of getting fantastic cash and prizes or the privilege of going to preschool is way over her head. Or is it? I swear she is just too smart for any kind of cajoling and she secretly knows that I am desperate for her to be out of diapers so she chooses to wet and shit herself on purpose just to spite me. I mean sheesh! What kinda lady is she?! A girl not into pretty panties? Apparently I have not set a good example of how lovely it is to wear pretty and fresh lingerie. Note to self: Start wearing my underwear around the house more often.
After much discussion and reading of potty training materials Josh and I decided that for the first week of Official Potty Training we (and I use the word we very loosely since I am obviously the one who is home more) would aggressively potty train and stay home for a week, letting Lennon be naked so that she could get used to and understand her "potty signals". I was all gung-ho with this plan---that is until two days in. By Tuesday I was seriously considering my sanity and wondering if I would have to booze it up for the majority of my days just to get through potty training. Yes, it was much easier for Lennon to understand her signals while being naked and that actually worked better than letting her roam around the house in panties, which she treated just like a diaper anyway. The hiccup however is never leaving your home. The farthest Lennon and I ventured was to the porch to collect the mail. I suppose if we had a bigger house I wouldn't have felt this cabin fever until later in the week, but seeing as how we have a house of smaller size I lost it by mid-week. It took talking with my girlfriend over once gargantuan margarita to decide that this method may have been working for Lennon, but that it was not working for me and that now was the perfect time for me to be selfish. By the end of the week I nixed the no going out of the house plan and decided to ease up and try and take a more relaxing approach to potty training. I tried to go with the flow, I handled each challenge one by one and I invested in a lot of M&Ms, hand soap, Clorox wipes and laundry detergent (I should have really invested in a washer woman since poo and panties really do not mix).
All in all I have to say that I am sure the beginning of our potty training could have gone a lot worse, at least that's what I am continuing to telling myself. It only took Lennon a week to start going to the potty without Josh and I having to constantly remind her, but then of course karma/God/the-powers-that-be chose to rear their ugly heads and put me in my place for getting all excited about our progress. Da-da-da-daaaa!: The UTI scare.
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